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I hesitate to write this post for fear of sounding ungrateful for my family.  That’s not it at all.  I know my kiddos love me.  I love them more than I could have ever imagine.  I’m fairly certain they appreciate me–even when I embarrass them.  I mean, come on, they haven’t starved yet, right?  And even in the midst of the hand written poems and cards, and beautifully painted gifts, I feel like a schmuck.

I love the notes.  My son picked out a Wonder Woman card that was sweet and funny, just like him.  We enjoy the superhero thing at our house.  My daughter took the time to write me a poem and attach it to the back of a painting she did for me.  Check out the painting.  That’s her to the right.  I love it!  I love sunflowers and she did a beautiful job and used bright, vivid, eye-catching colors.  It’s truly amazing!  We have wild sunflowers that grow in our backyard and all around our area in the late summer.  A little burst of happy color in the middle of what is often a dry, mountain desert at that point.  But I digress…what could there possibly be to dislike about a day specifically set aside to appreciate being a mom and act as a specific reminder for children to tell Mom, “Thank you”?  While a myriad of issues could arise from those that have lost a child or a mother, or those that long to have children and haven’t yet, those aren’t my issues.  It’s days like today that I hear the little liar voices reminding me of all the things I’ve done wrong as a mom…and probably as a daughter, too.  Okay, for sure as a daughter.

I hear things like this…

“Remember that time you were really hard on your son for that thing you can’t even remember what it is now?” Yep.  I remember that.

“Remember that time you didn’t go on that field trip with your daughter?  Your actions told her that work and/or money is more important than she is.” Yep.  I remember that.

“Remember that time you got on the kids about cleaning the house again?  Then your daughter went to school and told the teacher you like to clean the house…implying: instead of spending time with her.”  Yep.  That one stung.

The things I don’t hear, but I pray they remember…because I sure don’t:

Teaching her that her body is strong and healthy.  We don’t have to have magazine ready abs to be proud of who we are and to like ourselves.

Seeing my kiddos be goofy and giving themselves permission to be goofy…because you are.

Watching my kids grow in creativity–right alongside me–because I’ve chosen to grow those skills that had lain dormant for many, many years.

We are so hard on ourselves.  My perfectionist tendencies are great and helpful…when I’m painting a custom finish on your wall.  But when it comes to parenting, well, there is only one completely perfect parent: our Heavenly Father.  The rest of us are a bunch of screw ups.  I’m so thankful for grace; from my Heavenly Father, my kids, my husband.  I hope you had a fantastic and restful Mother’s Day.  By posting this, I don’t want sympathy or encouragement.  I want you to offer yourself some grace today, and everyday.

Make it a beautiful day, friends.

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#JensWallsTalkDoYours #JensWallsTalk #KeepingItReal

 

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